In This Life: Speaking Softly

Whom I Call

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 19:08:53 GMT

After making three hours' phone call, I'm thinking whom I call. On the phone, whom I ever called; whom I am calling; and whom I will call?

For a business trip, this afternoon I checked in at a hotel in the downtown. Actually, it couldn't be called trip. That's because this city which I'm sent to is where I was born and grew up. It seems I am a local man. However, I'm not very familiar with the urban area of this city. In the past years, I didn't spent much time here. I didn't live in the downtown of this city or I'm not interested in here. Sometimes, I even think I don't belong to this city. The difference between me and strangers is only one that I can speak the local accent. Besides, I can be a stranger, to what extence.

Now I'm sent here to do secret inspection on branches' service quality. This is the first mission I have received after working. It's completely new life. I doubt whether I can finish it well. This mission is hard to me. I really hope I can finish the inspection and hand in my report to let the higher-ups satisfied. But I don't know how to carry it on. I tried asking for some experience. But I just got little. There is nobody I can rely on. I have to do it myself.

Because of its difficulty, I became upset when I thought about tomorrow's plan. It realy worries me. I wanted some help. At least someone who could listen to my complaint.

There's only one computer in my room. And my roommate was using it. So I could only make a phone call. It's free to make domestic calls in the hotel. But whom could I call? Who's willing to feel my voice?

I began to search in my phone directories. I stared the numbers one by one. Most of them slid quickily. At last, I picked up three. And I talked to two of them on the line successfully. One was my workmate, and the other one was my university classmate. They're both female.

I didn't mean to call them for suggestions. I just wanted to talk.

So we chatted freely on the phone. We asked each other the recent status. We talked about the training and work. I told them my mission. We talked on many relaxed topics. And of course, my "lack-of-spouse" problem was referred.

I don't have a girlfriend. Few people understand why. Neither do I. Even when my workmate asked me which style of grils I like best, I still said I didn't know. I really don't know. Even though in a class with more than one hundred people who most of them were female, I couldn't tell whom I like best.

It's a big problem. Having feelings for someone is completely different from being together with someone. Maybe you can date someone, but then you can't be together. That's the reality.

People can be fooled with sometimes. The one who you love doesn't love you, while the one who loves you doesn't deserve your love. This is what I always tell the world. Or some real-life factors keep you both from matching. It's cruel, isn't it?

Finding one to call is hard. But it will be harder when you want to find one that you match each other.

Whom I call can't be whom I love then.

That's life we're facing.

Such a Boy

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 17:44:08 GMT

There is such a boy of a kind in every girl's life. He doesn't belong to love. He isn't her boyfriend, either.
However, there must be a place for him within the nearest distance from herself.
She will be bursting to show it to him when she sees some pretty things. She will be bursting to copy it from her MP3 to him when she listens a beautiful song. She will be bursting to buy two and one for him when she finds nice notebooks, though he doesn't like pink strawberries. She will send SMS to him firstly when she is about to cry. She will go to contact him firstly when she is quarrelling with her boyfriend.
Although it's unknown that when he will disappear from her life to be a prince of another girl and that girl will be princess owing to him, every girl exhausts herself to enjoy, consume and empty him and everything he takes greedily during the days when he still stays within the nearest distance from herself.
Every girl all becomes gentle, nice and considerate in the body of such a boy.
Though a perfect girl herself after that has nothing to do with this boy yet.
But such feelings are always something that exceeds love.

Half an hour ago, I found some fascinating words when I searched music. It's someone's signature article in a forum. When I read those words, I mean Chinese characters, I suddenly found something in my eyes. I was moved by them. Those words were about ambiguity, confidant and something like that.

Although it was written about what a boy is for a girl, I think it can be applied commonly. Each boy/girl maybe owns a girl/boy like that. And of course, so do I. So on glimpsing through those sentences, I sympathized with the contents. It seems it's writing my situation.

I have published its original version in my another space which is written in Chinese. Now I translate it to English and put it up above. Those sentences are not the most beautiful, but really meaningful.

And before posting it here, I meant to send it to someone. But unfortunately, she seems not to be in touch tonight.

Sometimes, I hate the world somehow as God plays tricks on us. Two have feelings for each other and even they were ever in a relationship, they can't live together eventually. Even if they still love each other. That's what God does to us, if God really exists. We are fortune's fool, aren't we?

It's difficult to explain how these ones come. They don't belong to friends or lovers. But these special relationships do exist.And many of us were or are trapped in such a relationship. We don't know whether it's sweet or not. We just can't escape from such a trap. Even when we have known its unhappy ending, we are still enjoying it. Funny.

We know we can't be able to retain it one day. We also know we will let it go one day. However, we are not willing to break away from it. We all need it, don't we?

Farewell

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 06:00:56 GMT

After a whole night's train travel, I got home this morning. Everything has changed through a dark night. Just less than 24 hours passed, now what I see is not the same as yesterday. I changed. She changed. Everyone changed, in fact.

Yesterday, I was still walking on the campus as a graduate. I was still living in Beijing. I was still talking with my friends. But today, now, I'm home. I'm not a college student any more. From now on, I have to get used to live in another city. Although I'm not willing to accept everything seen in my eyes, I have no choice. It's clearly that I can't get back. I wish I could do that. But obviously, I could just make that stay in my dream. All those days and things have been memories. I know I can recollect those memories. Whether those memories in my brain are sweet or not, I'm sure I will recall some of them on some days.To my sadness, I can't continue my memories. They are just memories. They won't go on.

So I have to say "Farewell". When I wrote the title "Farewell" here, I was trying my best to keep me from thinking about what farewell is. I chose to say farewell here, not in the place where we were just because I wouldn't control my tears if I had done that yesterday when I left. No one would like to talk about farewell. No one wished farewell to come. We were staring at farewell approaching.

Now it comes eventually. Farewell has been the fact.

"Is this our farewell?", I asked myself at times. Maybe not. But the fact is, there's nothing but silence now. I'm alone in my life. I think I am. You can see the sadness in my eyes. I feel so lost now when you're not by my side. I'm worry too much.

Did we have no time say goodbye. Of course we did. But we didn't say goodbye seriously. We didn't give each other a farewell in arms. I didn't kiss you goodbye, either. Instead, we were just saying"I'm about to leave". We didn't cry or express being sad. To us, it seemed nothing happened.

So, this is our farewell. But within our diction, there's no farewell.

Baby, You Don't Understand

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 17:20:53 GMT

Baby, you don't understand.

That's what I always want to tell you. I always put it in my mind. I always try not to reveal my feelings from my deep heart. I try my best to let you see an "always" me. I behave what you want me to behave. I dare not change suddenly. I dare not go further within our relationship, which you said it would be dangerous if I did it. But this time, I must tell you what I think in my mind immediately. Because I'm afraid I won't have the opportunity to tell you in future.

Baby, you don't understand who you are in my mind.

Baby, you don't understand who I am in your mind.

Baby, you don't understand why I am always concerned about you.

Baby, you don't understand how much I miss you every day.

Baby, you don't understand in my deep heart, there is an irreplaceable place for you.

Baby, you don't understand you have meant something to me since we met the first time.

Baby, you don't understand I'm worried about one day I will be what kind of person if without you.

There are a lot of "you don't understand" that you don't understand. Absolutely. And I must haven't understood you a lot. Or I would be able to help you understand me.

I don't know your status recently. I don't know whether you are in a relationship with the same one or another, or even you are single for the time being. I don't care. I just want to spend more seconds with you as possible as we can during the rest days before graduation. I'm sure this is not the last time we meet. We will be able to meet during our whole lifetime. We can contact each other. And I believe that we will keep in touch, just like what we did when holidays at university. However, contacting someone is different from meeting someone. I mean meeting you face to face and hand in hand. Do you understand? The fact is, I'm sure from now on, the times that we meet in real life will be fewer and fewer.

To my sadness, for this point above, you don't understand, either. Sigh.

Last year, you asked me whether I had feelings for you in an unusual night when we chatted via IM. That night, we talked about some "deep" problems, including friendship, relationship and love. All of these were due to a few days before you told me you broke up with someone firmly and just a few hours before we chatted someone told me he saw you and someone embracing. I remembered that you asked me that question in English. I wasn't very sure of your question. So I asked you to said it again in Chinese. But you just kept silent and never gave me a chance to speak it out. Why did you look forward to my answer? Had you know the answer in your mind? If you thought you had got the answer, what it was in your mind? I didn't know what to answer you at that time. And I still don't get the answer myself.

Now, when we nearly graduate, I won't mean to talk about that troublesome problem. I won't talk anything about relationship with you. You may not ask me about those things. We both don't want to make us get into an embarrassing situation. We have already agreed on that point. We both know breaking the ice unilaterally is dangerous. We both try our best to keep everything between us unchanged. So, during the days before we graduate, I will treat you as a friend, a best friend. In fact, I do it all the times. Please trust me.

So why don't you reply to me? I sent you many short messages. But you didn't reply. I need your response, baby. I don't know what you are doing these days. I don't know whether you are busy.

It seems you are the second person who didn't reply to my SMS. For any other who doesn't reply, I don't care. It means little to me. But for you, it means a lot. It seems you get used to keeping silent sometimes when I contact you.

Since you didn't reply to my message, I thought you got something wrong. And I began to worry about you, even your safety. But now, it seems not. You are safe. After seeing you online, I knew you were fine. But I don't understand why you don't talk to me. Now that you have free time to play online games, you should be fine and could be able to talk to me. Why?

You don't know how much I care about you. You don't know how much I cherish you. You don't know how much I want to see you. You don't know how much I want to talk to you. You don't know how much I wish to give you a hug before graduation. You just do nothing. I would rather believe it's because your slipshod character and personality. I can't imagine what I will do if you really mean to do it. Maybe you don't understand you mean a lot to me.

Otherwise, you wouldn't give me such a farewell. Baby, you don't understand, do you?

Happy Fathers' Day

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 18:13:59 GMT

No matter what changed or will change, we will always love our FATHERS forever.

I love this above picture very much. And this is the second time I have ever used it in entries of this space. It's full of love, joy and understanding. I always think so.

Today is Fathers' Day. For China, it's an exotic festival. Meanwhile, it's not popular enough or generally accepted by Chinese people. It's just popular on the Internet and among the youth. And even if we know it's Fathers' Day today, we wouldn't say "Happy Fathers' Day" or "I love you, Dad" to our fathers. We don't express love or feelings directly and intensively in public. It seems not accordant with our tradition. Maybe this is cultural difference.

Today, in a place which is more than one thousand kilometers far away from home, I expressed nothing to Dad. I didn't say "I love you" to Dad. I didn't mail a present to Dad. I did nothing. Because of my business, what I talked about with Dad recently were all about employment and graduation. We just talked about business, not love. Although we didn't say nothing about love between a father and a son, I could still feel deeply love from Dad with his each word and expression. I could read his loving me.

Dad never said "Sweetheart, I love you". Dad never kissed me. Those styles are beyond Chinese styles. Dad just told me he loves me by doing whatever he can to love me. I know Dad's loving me. Dad is concerned about my job and further education. He is worried about my future. But he never tells me his worry. He just encourages me and gives me much important advice at all times. Each time when I fail, Dad always tells me there is a promising future waiting for me, which drives me to work hard to move forward. "Keep moving and you will succeed one day," Dad says to me.

Without Dad, I can't imagine what I were today. For me, Dad is not only Dad, I'm aware of that. Besides, I'm aware of Dad's increasing number of nearly white hairs.

The world is changing. Time can make something changed with days passing by. While economy develops, many have faded. However, definitely, "No matter what changed or will change, we will always love our FATHERS forever." That's what I wrote as a comment below someone's blog entry. I believe I really do.

Really Sorry

Sat, 15 Mar 2008 16:30:06 GMT

It's not an apology. But it's more than an apology. I really mean it.

Last December, I said sorry to everyone. Now I have to say sorry here once again. I have to say sorry to my parents, my family and those people who are always caring about me and my study.

I remember that I said I would apologize if I let you down. Now I'm really letting you down. What can I say?

The day before yesterday, Dad talked to me on the phone. He asked me about the current news on my scores in the Graduate Candidate Test. I didn't know how to respond. I just told him I did it ugly and it's not likely for me to enter graduate school this year. Dad also asked me about what happened and what I did in the several days after I came back to university. I said no new information.

I know you are always concerning about my growing up. And I also know you wanted to hear of some good news when you made the phone call. You were trying to be happy and full of hope. You wish that I would be a graduate student this year, or if not, next year. I know how strong your wish is.

But sorry, Dad. What I gave you was all about bad news. I am letting you down. I seldom let you down in the past twenty years. However, this time, I really let you down, seriously. You tried to keep good mood on the line and continued to encourage me. But I know you was sad and your heart was hurt.

Most times, I did well in the examinations. But for the Graduate Candidate Test, I couldn't give you my word. Because I was not sure about it. I know you and the family looked forward to my success. And all of you wanted to see me being confident, like I usually was before. Terribly, I couldn't and I didn't promise to you at that time.

I got high level of scores in the College Entrance Examination and successfully entered a famous university. Seen from the admission standard, it is absolutely one of the first-class universities in Mainland China. You must want to see it happen to me again. You must have dreamed of your child being a would-be graduate student in a famous university. Unfortunately, you "have to" be disappointed this time.

I hadn't finished the trial well. I called it a trial because it's really a trial to me. For me, the fact I didn't perform well enough and can't enter a graduate school, it's a failure; for you, it's a hit, which impacts on you heavily. It's a bit painful to you.

What I am telling you is not for begging you for your pardon. You don't need to try to forgive me. Because it's unforgivable. It's hard for you to say something.

I just want to tell you I know I wasn't doing my best to handle everything. I still have to work hard. I still have much potential, I believe that.

And Dad, of course, I love you, always.

Dream of Me

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 06:04:09 GMT

Let me sleep

For when I sleep I dream that you're here

You're mine and all my fears are left behind

I float on air and nightingale sings a gentle lullaby

So let me close my eyes

And sleep a chance to dream

So I can see the face I long to touch, to kiss

But only dreams can bring me this

so let the moon shine softly on the girl I long to see

And maybe when she dreams she'll dream of me

And high beneath the clouds

I'd whisper to the evening stars

They tell me love is just a dream away, dream away

A dream away

So let the moon shine softly on the girl I long to see

And maybe when she dreams she'll dream of me

Oh dream of me

A Promising Girl

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 13:56:14 GMT

This entry is posted here for Winnie, a promising girl.

--------------------------

I like writing entries on my space. And I also like visiting spaces of others. Via this way, I have learned a lot and met many friends. I get much from their spaces. Not only writing ability, but also other more important aspects. Such as thinking way, attitude and living pattern. I have been having a good time in the community of Live Spaces.

This January, I kept on visiting people's spaces. Unconsciously, I dropped in at a space owned by a user called Lee.潔.winnie. Honestly, there are not quite a number of contents on this space. Just a few entries and photo albums. I read those contents and left a comment as usual. At that time, this space didn't seem very attractive. So I wasn't attentive to this space and then went on visiting other spaces. Now when I think about it, I nearly made a big mistake.

Like what most of other users did, Winnie paid a return visit to my space by courtesy. And she left some comments and even sent me a message. To my surprise, I got some uncommon points from her words which were different from other visitors. I felt it special. I replied to her. At the beginning of our communication, I made a mistake. From her words, I took it for granted that it's a man, an experienced man. Because she asked me whether I was 22 years old and said that male students at high school were childish. When she told me she was a 18-year-old girl, there was a terrible shock to me. I couldn't believe that. I couldn't believe a high school girl told those words. How did she do that?

It puzzled me so much. After a few days' communication via page words, Winnie invited me to be a friend. I approved and then we began to talk on the Internet, most times on MSN.

Like what I have said above, she seemed special while we having our conversation. I told her who I am and what I am. So did Winnie. We chatted every day, a whole day chat, as long as we were both online. If either of us was offline, a message would be sent. You must not be able to imagine our situation and our being a little bit crazy. I can't imagine that, either. But we actually did.

We talked about everything, pubic or even private contents. We had many in common while talking. We are both of one kind of people who always think a lot about everything and want to be mature in their thoughts. Deeply thinking is our pursuit. We care about everything, especially those which are not likely to be cared about by people who are of the same age as us.

She is a girl. Exactly, a 18-year-old high school girl student. But she is not only a girl. She is doing and will do what most of other girls can't do. She is different from other 18-year-old girls. She is special -- I really mean it. I'm several years elder than her. But I still felt kinda childish when I talked to her.

She thinks more than her peers. She knows more than her peers. And of course she is better than her peers. She is interested in fashion, make-up and love, which her peers also interested in. But she is also interested in politics, society and human beings, which even mature women are not interested in. This attracts me. There is such a kind of girl, who knows everything and care about everything. We can't believe that. But it's the fact.

She is one of a kind.

She is mature of her age.

Books and examinations are just part of what she concerned about. It's impossible to a girl, especially one who is studying under the China's education system. It's hard. But she did it. And she has a good command of English. She speaks fluent and original English. It's also hard.

I felt happy during the days and nights when we talked online. We knew each other on the Internet. But we have been real friends. It's not virtual between us like the Net. I felicitate myself that I met her.

Unfortunately, she must go to school after the Spring Festival. She is in her third year of high school. Although she is on the winter holidays, she must continue her preparations of College Entrance Examination, which is the same as other Chinese high school students.

After a phone call and some cell phone messages, she said goodbye to me. Now she is studying at school. She is working hard for the CEE which is hold in June. She must score well enough if she wants to enter a famous university. I'm sure she will. She just needs to wait several months.

I can almost see her success. I'm just waiting here. I remember that she told us she wants to be a girl of wisdom and beauty together. It sounds pretty nice. I'm sure of everything of her.

I know that she can't read this entry until next time when she is online after the CEE. However, I want to say Good Luck to her. And I will say Congratulations when we meet again.

Winnie, a promising girl, whom a promising future is waiting for.

Sorry

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 10:55:23 GMT

Sorry, everyone. I apologize if I am letting you down.

These days, I have been complaining about my situation. I made complaints about my being alone and lonely. I thought no one was concerned about me except the family. I took it for granted that I was fighting by myself. So I always seemed to be unhappy.

But now, I find that I am completely wrong. Because the fact is just the opposite.

Many a friend is concerning about me. Although they don't always speak it out. Actually, I didn't know it until yesterday.

It snowed yesterday, the first snow of this year. Looking at the white outside, I felt depressed. There was strong haze in the sky. It made me not able to see everything clear and then depressed me. Just at this moment, my cell phone rang. Some were sending short messages to me.

Some were thinking of me!

In the messages, I was asked about the present progress of my preparation for the Graduate Entrance Examinations. All the words showed their care and kindness. They asked me how I felt, whether I was tired and also about the situation of me. They were encouraging me and told me to COME ON. From these messages, I was deeply moved. I misunderstood your meaning during the past days.

I must say sorry to you.

I'm such a person that always have a bee in my head. I couldn't help imagine something at times. I know that it's not helpful. But I can't just control myself.

So if you hadn't been in touch with me for a long time, I would think that you were not caring about me any more. That's funny.

Now I will change my mind. I know you are always missing me. And you are always concerning about my everything. I know that.

I'm sorry for my possibly letting you down. I won't be.

And I won't think more. It's not necessary, she once said that to me.

If you are reading this entry, you must understand my feeling -- I hope so.

Mourning for Grandma

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 15:01:10 GMT

On Thanksgiving Day, I have no plan to celebrate it. No turkeys, no pies. I just wanna thank Grandma. Thank Grandma for everything she did for me in the past twenty-one years. But when I was capable to do something for her, she chose to leave us unexpectedly. Beyond my expectation, she was gone. She could have lived with us for several more years. She could survive.

I always think that Grandma would live healthily. At least she could live 90 years. She had worked hard during most of her life. For many years, she just led a simple life. But we couldn't hear any complaint. She hadn't enjoyed family relationships enough. Then she was passed away.

What life is, what sorrow is. If possible, I hope I had left the world instead of Grandma.

I can't give Grandma a luxury life, but I can let her happy. I can let her feel that we are with her together. And I can also give her mental support. Some on the earth are concerned about her life. So Grandma, why don't you give me a chance to live with you and take care of you one more time?

Today is the first anniversary of Grandma's death. Grandma has been away from us for twelve whole months. Within these months, I often dream of Grandma at night. I dream of Grandma talking to me. I dream of Grandma smiling to me. But when I wake up, I can't see Grandma. I realize that Grandma has left us.

Till now, I don't know the reason why Grandma left us. I know few of the details. Maybe Dad didn't tell me a lot about it because they didn't want me to be so sad. They just told me that they had do their best. Now all these details have no meanings. I won't run for the details. I just hope Grandma left us quietly and painlessly.

Grandma didn't leave me many real things for memorizing. What I cherish here is only a blurred picture captured by a web camera two years ago. In the picture, Grandma smiles happily.

I'm not sure of the existence of heaven. If heaven does exist, I hope Grandma enjoyed herself there. And there could be flowers in full bloom. Living with flowers as companions, Grandma must be happy.

Grandma, I miss you!

Tonight, I wanna cry.

A Dreaming Beauty

Wed, 05 Sep 2007 14:13:22 GMT

A dreaming beauty, one of my closest friends, will fly to the other hemisphere for her bright future. It sounds very nice. And she has dreamed of this for several years. Now she succeeds. Congratulations! I know you will make it sooner or later since you told me the feeling of the interview that you had in June. That’s because you yearn for it.

As we know, where there is a will there is a way. So, after many months' efforts your dream comes true finally. I always say that God is just. Your success proves that I am right again. Do you think so? Excuse for my narcissism.

But I’m really good for you.

Tomorrow you will leave Beijing, a place where you live by birth. It’s the first time you have been far away from home. Neither boyfriend’s love nor parents’ care, I am not assured that you’ll get used to new life there. Nevertheless, some schoolmates will go together with you. You are lucky.

What can we do for you? Blessing is must. Obviously, we all look forward to seeing you come back. Don’t forget it.

Have a pleasant trip, villa. Don’t worry. Everything will go well. Just be patient. And your passion is very important.

When you come back, we’ll be waiting for you here. Remember, we do miss you.

Good luck!

Self-Portrait of a Dreaming Beauty

Introspection

Fri, 11 May 2007 20:14:57 GMT

Please lady, please, lady, don't just walk away
Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart
that has lived a million lies

I just listen to this song ceaselessly and introspect. I know that I've never been to me.

But I don't know why. Just because some sentences someone talked to me, I thought a lot. Actually, that is none of my business. However, I have gotten myself into two other people's love game. I saw a lot of things that I shouldn't have seen. I said a lot of things that I shouldn't have said. And I thought a lot of things that I shouldn't have thought. How can I do that? I have made myself out of control tonight.

That's my fault, YY.

I'm very sorry for that. I didn't mean to do that.

Once I was proud of my maturity and nous. Right now I found that it's a big joke. People and the environment around me are changing every day. We can't know what will happen tomorrow. I consider this world as too ideal. On the contrary, it couldn't be perfect. I'm so naive.

I couldn't help asking myself what all these things mean. As a outlier, I have no right to ask her what to do or what not to do. That's her business. She can handle it well. No sorry, no interpretation for me.

Whatever, I am a stander-by.

Like you said, I should be pleased for your choice.

But I wish someone had talked to me like I wanna talk to you.

Bless for Grandma

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 14:15:40 GMT

Two months ago, Grandma died from suicide.

But this month, even when I went home, I was told about her death.

WHY, WHY, WHY? I asked myself continuously.

It should not happen.

I have no idea that why Grandma chose to end her 83-year-old life.

She could have survived.

She was healthy all the time. The whole family, we all wish her long, long life.

The saddest thing is that I didn’t know her death until the winter holiday began.

I can’t say to Grandma any more. No conversations, no laughter, no happy time.

What I can do is just memorizing the good days when we stayed together.

All of these leave me sadness.

I wanna make Grandma know I am suffering from her parting with me quietly.

I miss you, Grandma.

I couldn’t see you the last view. It’s the most regretful thing ever since I was born.

If the heaven really exists, I will hope that you enjoy yourself there every day.

Bless you everywhere and everywhen.

To r.k.zayara

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 04:05:39 GMT

From the statistics, I saw that you put the link of my Space in the list of your Space. Thank you for your appreciation.Now what I desire most is that you could see these words.

It's funny. I visited your Space this summer holiday by accident. And strange feelings came into being. One seeing the title of the website, I found that this Space was different from most of others. So was the master of it. That's a complex mood. It's at night. But my heart couldn't be quiet any more. I dare to say that your Space is the best page what I have ever seen. Colour, words, pictures, thoughts, etc. They all attracted me very much. For some reasons, I just remained a few holiday words.

To my surprise, you replied. And not few words. Obviously, you read my blog seriously. Although you didn't understand Chinese, you concentrated on all of the articles which were written in English. You gave me kindly and true comments. And you praised me. It's the first time that someone has considered my composition in my Space perfect. I know that all of your words are not perfunctory. By contraries, they tell us your heart perfectly. I was moved at that time.

We come from different countries and don't know each other. I don't know what you are, either. Differences in culture and languages too. However, it couldn't keep us from appreciating mind of the other's. So I continued to visit your Space after that day. One day I found that your Space was changed. Guests couldn't leave a word in your blog. The function of comment was canceled. What a pity! I never thought that would happen. But that's true. At present we could only read your heart in silence.

Since in the Internet, maybe you have forgotten me and my Space. But I remember you and your Space all along. As you said, I come to your Space and read what I could. Out of question, your articles are worth reading. Though I can't catch all meanings, I still get grace, beauty, kindness and sincerity. I like your style. Maybe our personalities clicked. Some may think me a bit insane. But I am eager to rap off with you.

Something may happened to you. Even you changed the data and time format. Anyway, people need the rights to put their comments in one's Space. And you need praise too, like me. Haha, I am joking.

Best wishes for you. And have a nice day.