In This Life: Diary

Where to Fly

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 08:58:27 GMT

We will graduate in about twenty days. But I haven't receive the certain offer. I'm very worried about my being employed. Now sitting in the waiting room of the airport, I couldn't help thinking about the direction of my flight, of my life.

Where to fly? I don't mean the flight, I mean my job and my career.

The direction of the flight is certain. But the one of the life is not, especially mine. I can't see where my offer is. I don't know which city I will live in, which company or organization I will work in, whom I will work with. There are a lot of "don't know" in my world. Even I don't know which country I will work in during the following years. Because a state-owned company asked me whether I would be willing to work in abroad. Really very, very uncertain.

The plane is to take off soon. I have to board my plane quickly. I have to fly to an unknown place which is not very remote. I'm flying with many "not belonging to fly" factors.

What else can I do? Except waiting in front of the boarding gate. It seems the flight will be delayed because of the thunder and rain in the afternoon.

I don't know when to fly, either.

April Fool's Day

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 06:54:38 GMT

Today is April 1st on which April Fool's Day is. It's celebrated widely in western countries. And now it seems a little bit popular in China, especially among the youth. Sometimes, we play pranks or make some practical jokes on the fellows around. It's funny.

There are many versions of origin of April Fool's Day. Each is interesting and meaningful. But please don't worry. Today I won't fool you. I'm tired and very busy. I have no time to see someone laugh. I just want you to know what today is and not to forget it.

These days I have a new task, the draft of my graduation essay. Meanwhile, I'm still looking for the opportunities being employed. I have fallen into frustration. I have no idea of what to do. I can't see the steps clearly.

I hope I could get out of this bad situation as soon as possible. But I'm not sure about it. May I?

Anyway, best wishes for us, for everyone.

Success

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 15:47:43 GMT

Thank goodness! I passed the driving test today.

After nearly 20-day exercise, I eventually finished it. I'm so excited now. The following step is waiting for the driving license. I guess I'll get it in a week. Then what I need to do is real driving. It sounds a bit fascinating.

I think I have realized one of the nicest dreams during my lifetime. It's also very meaningful. The next dream is about the car. When will I make it? I don't know.

I seem to see my license now. I'm looking forward to it.

And thank everyone for their concern about me and my driving test. I appreciate that.

Real Driving

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 14:25:26 GMT

Men love cars.

I like cars. And I like driving. Although I can't even afford a used car. I always dream of owning a car and driving in the street or road, since I was a child. It's a nice dream, I think. But it's just a dream years ago.

As I'm getting older and more and more people have cars for China's rapid development, it's possible for me to think about cars, at least driving.

This winter holiday, I began to learn driving at driving school. It's an exciting thing, and a little bit tiring. I'm spending not many minutes in a jeep at driving school every day. In order to learn driving better, I asked some of my friends and relatives to borrow their cars to feel the feeling while driving out of the driving school. I call it Real Driving.

I have driven four different vehicles. They are Zhonghua Zunchi, Volkswagen Santana, Mitsubishi Pajero and Honda Accord. I have given their photos of those kinds in the below.

Driving cars outside is very different from sitting in a jeep at driving school. What you get at driving school can be just used to pass the examination. If you want to drive in the street, you need to know more. And different vehicles, different feelings. For example, driving a car is different from driving an off-road vehicle. I mean the vehicle itself and the feeling you get while driving it.

Because I'm still a rookie at present, I often behave somewhat badly at the beginning of driving another unfamiliar car. I don't know where exactly the wheels are and how to speed up steadily. Especially when I shift the gear, I feel a bit difficult. But I always try my best to get familiar with the car and control it better.

I know some more time needed before driving freely. And I'm sure I will be able to do it one day.

Worrying about the Test

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 04:23:55 GMT

Several days ago, I said I was tired. Now I'm still tired. I'm really tired, physically and mentally

Strictly speaking, I'm worried. The driving test will be hold in a week. For having not prepared well, I'm worried about it.

The test is very strict and I must pass it once. I'm not ready, but I can't wait. I must go to school before March 8th. So I don't have enough time to do exercises. I must take the test before going to school. If I can't pass it this time, the next test will be hold in twenty days, according to the rule. At that time, I will be at university. It means the exact time when my next test will be is unknown. The date will be very remote. I know that clearly.

Now I'm praying. I'm praying for my being able to succeed. Will I? Wish everything will be fine.

I'm Tired

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 15:01:25 GMT

I'm tired.

I'm serious. Really tired now.

These days I'm spending my learning hours at driving school. I have stayed there for four days. 9:00 am ~ 12:00 am and 2:00 pm ~ 5:00 pm each day. It seems I'm busy learning how to drive a car. Maybe. Actually not. I'm not busy every minute there. Most of the time, I'm just waiting in a queue. Many students there, but few vehicles. If you want to drive for five minutes, you will need to wait more than sixty minutes. You can't imagine how bad the situation is.

So I'm telling you that, although I have spent four days there, I got little. I'm still a rookie. I don't know how many minutes when I was in the vehicle. It must be very short. Because every day I could just exercised for four times. Less than five minutes each time. I'm still trying to feel it. I haven't got the right feeling.

But I have been tired. And a little sleepy. I have felt not good on my shoulder and arms. Controlling the vehicle and turning the steering wheel are very tiring and arduous. The vehicle we are driving is a nearly outdated worn-out jeep. It's hard to drive it. I'm standing it.

Learning driving at driving school is fresh to me. But not interesting. Long time waiting for queuing up is terrible and very lack of efficiency. It's pity that no one would change this bad situation. Maybe the director of the driving school cares about the profit, not the efficiency. How to help the students learn driving better is not his concern.

I'm worried now. I mean to take the examination in this late month. There are not many days left. It seems impossible to finish the lesson and pass the examination in such a short period. But I have to do it. If I can't finish it this time, I won't have enough time to finish it since. I'm nervous.

I heard of a piece of bad news that tomorrow there will be more people and fewer vehicles there. I'm considering that whether I should go. Who can help me?

Valentine's Day

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 14:01:12 GMT

Hidden Sunshine

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 08:18:03 GMT

Where is the sun? Where is the sunshine?

Many people in South China haven't seen sun rise for more than half a month. They were living under the snowy or cloudy sky. This damned weather has made them involved in the somber situation. Every day, when they got up and looked out of the windows, surrounded by the white scenes, they just felt unknown about everything which will happen next. The power of snows is very huge. It has made the snowy weather produce snow disaster which seems to happen impossibly in the southern area of China.

But it really happened. No matter whether you believe it or not. You just have to face it.

Now people had fought the snowstorm for many days. They are tired. The sunrise is expected by all. They were waiting.

Luckily, it is sunny today. The smiling face of the sun came out eventually. Although the sun are not shining brightly, it's enough. If only it were sunshine, people would be excited. They don't care how bright the sunshine is.

And it will be snowy again tomorrow. People hope the sun would stay in the sky. But it's impossible. They could just have a rest today and go on struggling. It seems no ending. But no way until now.

When could people enjoy the sunshine next time? No one knows.

Still Snowing

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 09:31:28 GMT

It's cloudy yesterday. And the snow began to melt away a little. I thought it would be cloudy today.

But today, when I got up, I found white outdoors again. It is still snowing. And more heavily than before. What a pity! It seems no evidence that it will stopped snowing soon. When you look at the sky, you just feel that it will be snowing, and never-ending.

Does it mean this winter holiday will end up with no sunny days? I don't know. It's horrible if it really happens. I haven't seen the sunshine since the day when I got home. How much I miss the sunshine! I wish I would feel the sunshine soon.

I took some pictures during these snowy days. I would like to share some of them with you.

We all know that this snowy weather in South China at present doesn't mean romance any more.

First Day at Driving School

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:24:27 GMT

In China, during the last decade in the 20th century, there was a voguish saying that people should master three basic and important skills in the 21st century if they want to be talent in the employee market. These three skills are English, computer application and the driving license. It's true. Especially at that time, few people had these abilities completely. If you master these three skills, you will be special. And obviously, you will be the better choice for the employer.

As for me, I have learned English for many years at school. I also use the computer every day for several years. In other words, I don't need to worry about the two skills. But I'm strange at driving. I know little about driving a car. At the meantime, I have been dreaming of a driving license of my own for a long time. There were some factors that kept me from going to driving school.

When I graduated from high school, I told Dad that I wanted to get a driving license. But Dad refused my request for I was still young. Then after entering university, I had talked about it for several times. It was still denied. It made me forget things about the driving license for a time.

A week ago, I went home for the winter holidays. When we had supper, Dad talked to me about the driving license. I told him that I wanted to get the driving license as soon as possible. And I said, if possible, I wanted to go to driving school during this winter holidays. To my surprise, this time, Dad agreed. I couldn't believe my ears at that time. Dad approved of my dream eventually.

Then last Friday, I went to the driving school to sign up, as well as Dad. The fee was a bit high. It took me more than 2000 yuan. But it's worth doing this.

In the afternoon of that day, I began to drive the jeep under the instruction of a coach. It's the first time that I have driven a vehicle formally. I drove it for some laps. The coach told me the positions of clutch, brake and throttle. And I also tried the steering wheel. I found that shifting the gear completely well was somewhat difficult. That's a big problem and it puzzles every rookie. I know I must work hard.

So that's my first day at driving school. Because of the snowy weather, it's impossible to start the engine and carry through the exercise. I haven't gone to driving school once more after that afternoon. Unfortunately, it will continue snowing in the following few days. When will my second day be?

I'm waiting.

Surprise

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 20:25:20 GMT

Unbelievable!

To my surprise, some alert functions of Windows Live Messenger are available in my computer again.

Since WLM 9.0 was installed in my notebook, there have been many problems about this program. For example, the program can't be connected to the Internet directly. And the alerts can't display normally. The former was already repaired well several days ago. Then the later appeared. The program couldn't display alerts when it's necessary. When contacts come online, I can't see alerts on the lower right of the screen. And I can't hear alert sounds, either. I can only see the toolbar wink.

I thought all these were because of bugs. I even tried uninstalling this new version and returning to version 8.5.

Fortunately, these problems were all gone suddenly. I'm too lucky! I don't know why!

Who helped me fix these problems up? God or the computer itself? It sounds very funny.

Now, if you send me a new message, I can see and hear the alerts at one time. It's perfect!

Tired

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 19:44:40 GMT

Two-day busyness makes me too tired to rest well. I worked hard hours for a little idea. But a problem happened at the very beginning. It took me so many hours to solve this problem. What a pity!

I have dreamed of an English version of Windows for a long time. But my own XP is of Chinese version because my Dell notebook was bought in Mainland China. And buying an extra English version of Windows is too expensive for me. So I shelved this plan.

Three days ago, I downloaded a legal copy of English version from a forum. I moved this copy to my removable hard disk and prepared to reinstall the operating system. Suddenly, there was something wrong with my removable hard disk. I couldn't see the partition in My Computer. My God! It scared me! I stored more than 30G of important files and data in it. What could I do?

So the first thing was not to reinstall system but to recover these files. I searched for the help documents and helpful softwares. I knew little about disk recovery before this time, i.e. I spent too much time in finding some solutions. It took me one night and afternoon to do it. At last I knew the problem was the destroyed partition table. Then I found a software called FinalData. Using this, I found all the files were still stored in the disk. That's great! Now I could save these files in another hard disk and format the disk.

After formatting the disk, the partition could be seen again. Cool! Then I began to reinstall the operating system. It was completed in an hour. The interface of this version looked very good. Now you see the running XP Professional? It moves faster than my previous version -- a Chinese version of Dell OEM Windows XP Home Edition.

Perfectnness

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 16:55:18 GMT

Hey! It's perfect. I'm very excited now. Thanks to Windows Live Writer. It is this software designed by Microsoft that makes my dream come true.

Few people know that I have had another space before this space was created. I call that space my original space. And some blog entries were published there before the date when this space started.

Then in January, 2007, I created this space as my blog written in English. Completely written in English here! You may be confused that why I made this space get started as I have already had a space. That's because English is a global language. I want to be open to all around the world and know the world better. So I chose to begin writing something here in English.

I've been thinking how to make those entries be seen here for a long time. But the publish date is a problem which seems unsolvable.

Accidentally, I learned Windows Live Writer on the Internet. Someone said that we could use this software to modify the entries publish date. Then I tried it.

Yes, it could really do that work! I love it. From now on, this space In This Life can be said to be perfect. It sounds very nice.

I'm Not Ready

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 17:37:22 GMT

Eventually, several months passed. Everyone is making preparations for the Graduate Candidate Test. So am I. Every day I review books in the dormitory or classroom. When people ask me what's going on with my study, I always tell them everything is in progress. I don't want them to worry about me. I try to make them believe everything is under control and I have done my best.

But the point is I'm not ready. I seriously mean it!

Now I regret for my fooling around in the past three years. I don't know these three years' importance till now. But it's too late. The golden days have past away. Only regret remains.

After entering the university, I did nothing valuable. No scholarships, no articles, no subjects, no prizes, even no gfs. Shortly, I have nothing. So sometimes I laughed at myself. And I'm ashamed of my mediocrity.

However, these virtual things have been beyond my caring. At present what I care about most is the following Graduate Candidate Test. I need to get a good score for further education. But I'm not sure for that.

Competing with students from all over the country is inevitable. It must be cruel. I try to make myself not think about the outcome. I don't want to be much tenser.

In fact I'm a bit of nervous.

What should I do next? I'm not ready for it.

And tomorrow when the sun rises, I will do the same thing that I ever did again.

Start off on the Long March

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 17:54:48 GMT

Every day we have many things to do. And at present the most important thing is Preparations for the Graduate Candidate Test. Next January I will take part in the entrance exams for postgraduate schools. Now I contribute my whole body to what is called Graduate Study. In China we call it "kao-yan".

Whereas I call it as The Long March. And I have been on the way.

Two weeks ago, I saw a graduate study count down timer in a website. My heart was beaten deeply all of a sudden. Oh, my God! Only half a year left. Time waits for no one. I must take action right now.

So I returned to my university in the early of August. You know, home is such a comfortable place that you can't concentrate on your work but enjoy slack daily life. Out of question, everything at home is more attractive. But no pains, no gains. A lit bad living condition equals nothing.

I just need to focus on preparations.

Now I get up early in the morning. Then I pedal to have a politics coaching class in another university nearby. I need to stay there through the daytime. In the evening I go to the classroom to review the books. That's my schedule for the whole day.

I know that these days I will enjoy a little and endure much. But I couldn't find a better way.

What I need most is confidence. But nobody can bring it to me. I feel lonely when I sit alone in the classroom. I wanna call for study companion. Unfortunately, everyone has his own business. He or she couldn't accompany you all the day. It sounds like the unrequited love. Always response seems impossible.

In a word, I must get ready and do everything to tide me over all by myself.

He conquers who endures.

Back

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 18:51:35 GMT

I am being back.

Back to where?

And back to when?

Thinking about it, I see no better way.

Just back to being myself.

May you be there and wait for me.

Then you could hear the voice inside my heart.

Hot

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 15:49:11 GMT

I don't like dry and hot weather in Beijing, so I determined to go home. I wished home would give me some coolness. But now I find that here is much hotter than Beijing. My body is completely wet all day. I don't know how many times I shower in a day.
Fortunately, I can turn on the air-conditioner at any time. And there are many soft drinks frozen in the fridge. Otherwise I would hide myself in the swimming pool.
If only it would rain tomorrow.

Another Beginning

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 15:47:09 GMT

   Today is still very dry and hot. But no thundershower like yesterday afternoon. Like Beijing's oppressive weather, I don't feel so good these days. Insomnia has taken my appetite away. I'm too tired.
This afternoon I took the last examination, Financial Analysis. I didn't answer the questions very well, I think. I couldn't find the changes and trends from the given financial statements, to say nothing of reasons behind. Could I pass it? I'm not sure.
Fortunately, this semester is over. Now at last I could have a nice sleep. Nobody could imagine the pain that I slept for only four hours during the past two days. May it not happen again.
   But I know I couldn't rest too much. Tomorrow I will start to have the self-learning lesson for my preparation for Graduate Candidate Test. It's another beginning in my life. Parents and friends expect much of me at this point. Our of question, it's a big challenge. So I must try my best for this brand-new beginning.
   I will work hard. And I always thirst for your being there and encouragement from the deep heart.
   You will be by my side, won't you?

Too Busy to Relax

Sat, 23 Jun 2007 21:20:46 GMT

Another sleepless night again!

It's 4:00 AM now. The sunrise will be coming up soon. But I am still reviewing my books for the following examinations.

I want to relax. But I'm busy.

This term will end up in mid-July. So the remainder of this month is the most important. I need to get prepared for the examinations. Because scores are important, too! That's the nature of China's education, absolutely.

As a result, I couldn't surf on the Internet fequently. And updating blogs like before seems impossible.

May the days pass quickly.

DAMNED EXAMINATIONS

Auditing

Advanced Accounting

Taxation Accounting

Accounting for Government and Nonprofit Entities

Financial Analysis

Computer Auditing

Intermediate Macroeconomics

Psychology

Deng Xiaoping Theory and the Important Thoughts of "Three Represents"

…

The NCEEs

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 19:00:53 GMT

What is NCEEs?

NCEEs stands for National College Entrance Exams. The college entrance exams have long been regarded as the factor determining a student's future. No wonder it touches a nerve with everyone involved.

Examination season has been coming up in China!

This year, a record 10.1 million students have applied to take the exam, but only 5.67 million will be able to enter colleges. 10.1 million people can compose a country! That is to say, competition among students is still very cruel.

In 1977, National College Entrance Exams were restored after the 10-year Cultural Revolution. The entrance exam -- commonly known as "gaokao" in Chinese -- is credited as the backbone of China's remarkable reform-era growth in the 30 years since it was restored. Although many criticize that it encourages rote learning and puts too much pressure on overburdened adolescents.

But what can government do? Till now, we can't find a better exam system to determine who enters college and who can't. In such an unfair society, the "gaokao" system is the best choice for everyone, especially those who need a profound turning point in their life.

For students form poor families, "gaokao" is their best chance to climb the social ladder in an increasingly stratified country with widening rich-poor and urban-rural gaps. They are told to study hard and getting into a university is the way out. But that way out is only for the lucky few. Many of young generation have to earn their own living after graduating from middle school. They continue poor and dull life like their parents.

Unfortunately, they have no better choice.

I still remember the days three years ago when I took the exams. Cold sweat, shaky hands, sleepless nights... I contributed my whole body to the preparation of exams in June, with my heart and soul. I burdened too much pains and pressure. My bright future was completely relied on those two days -- June 7th & 8th.

It's not bad that I succeeded at last.

Now I'm learning accounting in one of the most famous universities in China. I know clear that I'm the lucky one. Every time when I want to slack off, I tell myself that truth. So I work hard.

Bless for students trapped in the exams and their parents. Best wishes for you.

Fantasy

Sun, 27 May 2007 19:18:16 GMT

I am a man who likes thinking very much. Every day, I always think of

something as long as my head is "free". But things in my mind are not

always close to reality. It's better to say that I am a man who likes fantasy.
   As time goes by, these days I think a lot about the Graduate Candidate Test. As a junior, I must decide where I will go. Going to work or further education? At present, further education is the better choice.
   But in China, examinations are difficult. Especially you want to enter famous universities. You will compete with many excellent students. So you must get high scores. It sounds terrible.
   I want to be successful next January. I want to be a graduate student and continue my study in one of the most famous universities. Every minute I think about this.
   Last night one of my friends told me a fact that this year girls in a department of our college all got their admission notices. But no boy did. Does it imply that I will get into a lot of troubles? And pains after failure?
   What she told me just makes me nervous. Am I daydreaming? And is it a fantasy?
   Better not be.

It wouldn't be.

The Wedding

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 16:05:32 GMT

Shuttling between Beijing and Jiangxi within three days is too tired to draw myself up. 1400 kilometres' distance is a bit long. Though China Railway has raise trains' speed, I still have to bear 10 hours' suffering. What a pity! Fortunately, I bought a berth ticket. Then I could lie down for a rest.

April 21st was my brother's wedding date. Family had prepared for this for more than a month. So on arriving home, I set about doing things to get ready for the wedding. Even breakfast was ignored. Everyone got up early and slept late for this. We were tired, but happy with everything.

Finally, with our efforts, the wedding was held successfully. Congratulations, my dear Brother and Sister-in-law. Wish you both a hundred years of happiness. I love both of you!

I had ten classes on Monday. So though I was not very willing to do this, I still returned to school in time. Study is the most important thing at present. I have been back to busy school life now.

And I'm too tired.

Back to Reality

Sun, 15 Apr 2007 15:39:27 GMT

This month I dreamed many dreams. They were beautiful dreams. But now I am clear that dream is dream. I must back to reality.

Now I am standing on the cross of my life. I have some options. Further education or finding a job? Of course I must continue my study. I want to enter graduate school actually. That's my ideal. So, further education is my task now.

These days I am very confused. So that I didn't use msn and space services frequently like before. I often sat somewhere for hours without doing anything. I didn't know what to do. Although I had the target, I didn't know how to begin. I have fooled around for several weeks this term. Oh, damned!

I am not confident of my desire. Not very optimistic. I fear the result.

I still have nine months to get ready for Graduate Candidate Test. I couldn't hesitate any more.

Who can make me be self-confident?

Back

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 09:36:28 GMT

I'm back.

I'm back to Beijing.

I'm back to the familiar campus.

I'm too excited!

A-month-long holiday goes to the end.

A new term has come.

School days begin now!

I'm waiting.

Driving Licence

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 17:58:28 GMT

If you stand beside a car, what will you do? Jump in the car and start the engine?

That is the common idea. Neither will I.

If only I had the driving licence. This is my idea.

Seeing more and more peers have driving licences, I could help dreaming about it. Even I have envied them.

At present, I could do nothing except grasping the key and sighing continuously.

I am an adult, but I don't own things that almost each adult owns.

I wish that day would come earlier.

Happy Days

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 16:52:37 GMT

Hey, everyone, Happy New Year!

Maybe you think I make a mistake, because it's February now. Actually today is the Spring Festival. Never heard of that? Yes, it's Chinese new year in lunar calendar. On TV, many NBA stars said to Chinese audience "Happy Chinese New Year".

The Spring Festival is the most important Chinese orginal festival. It makes more sense than the New Year's day in solar calendar in China. Perhaps we can call it the Big Day. When the Spring Festival comes, the nation have the longest, a seven-day leave. The royal celebration extends all over the country. Some specail nouns relate to it. Such as couplet, firecracker and rice cake.

Relatives and friends visit each other, too. We call this 拜年-pay a New Year call.

But I find that people's enthusiasm for the Spring Festival is not strong like before. I was not very excited when this Spring Festival came. I don't know why.

I wish it would go faster.

Anyway, it is still one of the traditional festivals we own. Cheers!

Half

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 18:33:26 GMT

Half of the winter holiday elapsed.

Half of the year of being a junior elapsed.

I did nothing meaningful in the half.

Now the rest is the other half.

Many halves passed, whereas many halves remain.

Shall I be delighted or depressed?

I have no idea.

Anyway, let's cherish the remaining half.

Tomorrow is not always another day.

And tomorrow is Valentine's Day.

So, have a nice day, lovers.

Except me.

It's Over

Thu, 25 Jan 2007 19:56:36 GMT

Thank goodness! It's over. Those damned examination days have gone to die. I am back now.

And I am back to normal. Without all-night learning any more. That's exciting.

These two weeks I feared the test results night and day. I was anxious about those tests. Now that these examinations are over, I could have a rest.

I'm too tired.

The final of this term is the worst among those of three years in BNU. I am even worried sick about the points. Maybe I will have a few fails.

Several hours ago, I sent some E-mails to my teachers who may fail me in some tests. I begged for their mercy and more points. I hate to join the makeup next term.

May I be successful? I don't know.

Give me some help please.

The Following Final Examinations

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 17:23:21 GMT

Oh, my God! More than four months have past. Now it's the end of this term. How time flies!

Quietly, the year of 2007 came. Then followed by the final examinations. It claims that my happy days have ended. From now on, I must spend every seconds reviewing my courses.

I have no better choice.

I love NBA games. But now I have to say goodbye to T-Mac, Kobe and Iverson for a while.

I like surfing on the Internet. But now I have to say goodbye to the MSN community and Windows Live Spaces provisionally.

I have to say goodbye to things that waste my study time. What a pity!

I am suffering now.

The examinations will last till next Thursday. Then the winter holiday will begin. I can back to normal state by then.

I'm looking forward to seeing my family and friends. I miss you very much.

It's time to prepare for tomorrow's damned examination. Go!

A New Year Has Come

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 03:50:53 GMT

2007 comes to us, quietly.

A new year has come.

It's a new start.

It's a different time.

So, Happy New Year, everyone.

And enjoy this new year.

Everything would go well, I wish.

The following tasks are final exams.

I haven't prepared well.

Very nervous.

Anyway, I am doing my best.

Believe in me.

Surprised & Desperate

Sat, 02 Dec 2006 04:02:12 GMT

I am surprised.

I am desperate.

Since there’s something wrong with Windows Live Spaces.

The Spaces service has made me crazy. I can’t login my Space successfully. The page can’t be visited since the middle ten days of November. After several days, this website could be opened. But it seemed that there were some problems. The page existed there, as it’s destroyed somehow. The pictures, the colour, and the frames, they were all changed. Furthermore, the Space couldn’t be edited. Hence, I couldn’t add any entry.

Why? I wonder the reasons that Windows Live Spaces can’t be visited in the place where I live. What’s the real problem? The Network? Just can’t be done on BNU campus? Who knows?

Every day I click the quick launch icon many times in MSN messenger. But the right background and fonts only appeared three times. Oh, my God! It makes me confused. The only thing that I could do is just browsing the fragmentized page. I have no idea that how long this situation will last.

I am afraid that people are curious about my not updating my Space in such long time. What a pity! Maybe I have been misunderstood. However, I can’t tell them this bad condition here.

Last year some told me that they couldn’t open their Spaces occasionally. I didn’t believe it at that time. But now, it really happens to me, to myself. That’s funny.

I have to publish my entries.

I have to read others’ Spaces.

I have to make my heart shown.

I have to live in my own way.

I support Spaces confirmedly since it was born. Nevertheless, at this time I’m fooled. Obviously, I have many complaints. I need satisfaction. No matter whose fault it is, I wish my Space to be fine. Microsoft should fulfil its obligation for customers. So should COINT of BNU.

It appears that I have been awaiting my doom. Anyway, I’ll try my best. For the words & heart.

As you know, one sentence in songs of Celine Dion, “I’ll be waiting for you here inside my heart”.

The Days

Fri, 06 Oct 2006 04:15:43 GMT

So many festivals nowadays.

Five days ago it was National Day. And today is Mid-Autumn Day. The former is statutory, while the latter not. So we have a three-day holiday when National Day comes. And in order to advance the development of economy, the Golden Week became true several years ago. Fortunately, the Mid-Autumn Day is in this week. Then we have two festivals.

Suddenly, it seems that there are a lot of festivals in mainland China. Chinese, foreign; modern, ancient; and so on. Just like loving food and drink, Chinese people are always busy with many kinds of festivals. Especially with the traditional. However, it makes no sense to me today. I eat few mooncakes this week. I don't like it. I have no good feeling of some traditional Chinese festivals. Maybe you consider me as a person who worship foreign things and fawn on foreign powers. I don't know how to retort upon you. Anyway, I don't care.

Staying at home for too long time is a boring thing. You have no idea to do anything. You could do daydreaming instead. Just live a simple life that pigs live too. There are many differences between home and campus. In fact, I find myself not used to staying at home. Despite the delicious food. Now I am counting the rest days before I leave for school. 7,6,5,4,…

It's too terrible. I'm just away from the school for a few days. But now I can't remember many things. Thinking is out of control. I looks like a mute person because I couldn't show you what my mood is. My hot head makes you see hundreds of meaningless words lie here.

Writing can hurt you at last. I won't let my heart control my head, like Celine singing.

It Was Raining

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 17:25:26 GMT

With the affection of the typhoon, it was raining since yesterday morning. Thunder and lightning too. Non-stop raining made me feel the beautiful South again. This kind of feeling could just come twice a year after entering into the university. Staring at the thick raindrops, I imagined the weather of Beijing. Sunny? Or thundershower at night additionally? Many schoolmates chose to stay at BNU? What were they doing now? Sleeping, surfing on the Internet, playing games or Kara OK? Don't they miss their family, their hometown? Living on the campus may not feel well. The insipid food, a shower every other day, hot weather and mosquitoes? All these things are what I couldn't bear. So I escaped from the dormitory as early as possible.

But when I arrived home, I found that many things changing quietly. Just a few fellows were back. Many of them still stayed in other cities. No person chatting with, no person playing with, no person travelling with. There was myself in such a big place. That's too lonely. Suddenly, I clicked. I was aware that we were grown-up. We couldn't rely on parents any longer. At least economic independence is required. So some do part-time jobs this summer holidays. Although it's toilsome. And even some boys stay at shool in order to accompany their girlfriends. Xiao Zhao is of this kind. Fortunately, I am still single. At present the family is my exclusive concern. After all I only have a pair of parents. I always think a lot of filial respect. And continuously.

Now that few fellows back, I just fool around every day. The daily life is ruleless too. Like dreaming, I don't know the exact time. The schedule doesn't work. I could sleep until the next noon without caring about the rising sun. It's comfortable, but ugly. In fact, I'm sick of this life style. It shows too much depression. But I have no choice.

So I'm trying my best to regulate everything. Tomorrow one of my friends will return from Wuhan. I wish that this can be an activator of my weary life. It had better bring some fresh feelings. We have planed to enjoy several days in Lushan. Although the distance between Lushan and my house is less than ten kilometres. We expect the cool weather there would give us more clear air and limpid water. I treat this as my baptism into soul. It will be better than staying at home, I think.

This afternoon, when I read a newspaper, an article said that over 45 million people clicked Xu Jinglei's blog on SINA. That's the celebrity's effect. Presently, my Space statistics is only 2312. Too bad. Maybe I need to give publicity to the URL. But I don't mean to do that for the moment. That's because some of friends who know my Space URL rarely visit this Space. Some articles in this Space are for specific people. Sometimes I think about the purpose of writing blogs. For myself? Of course not. It makes me depressed. It's a sentence a professor of PKU said that gives me determination of continuation.

He ever said" If you keep a diary, the diary will keep you."

So I am keeping a diary.

Leaving and Arriving

Sat, 15 Jul 2006 17:23:11 GMT

After a 17 hours' tour, I arrived home this dawn. Fortunately, there was a friend who went along with me. So, I din't feel tired. To my surprise, Dad came to the station for picking me up. I told him not to get up early yesterday, but he came finally. It made me moved.

Not beyond my imagination, it has been raining these days in JJ. That's the real South. Non-stop raining for weeks. Although this kind of weather always makes you wet and cold,I like it. It just likes my current mood, a damp heart. How can I describe this summer holidays? I have no idea.

Just like the summer rain? Maybe.

What shall I do in the following days? I couldn't fool around. It's a waste of time, of life. I should do some significative things, I think. I will be a junior soon. Planning for the future is indispensable. Japanese, VFP course and driving learing… All of them are so important that I am prepared well for these. Working hard is necessary.

How is my past twenty years? Unromantic or brilliant? Who knows? At least I couldn't.

Some happened in the past several weeks made me unhappy and depressed. But I won't care. Anything, anybody, just gone. Why not concentrate on today?

A Damned Holiday

Mon, 01 May 2006 17:17:13 GMT

Generally speaking, people are fond of holiday. While on vacation, they could enjoy themselves beyond busy work. May 1st is Labor Day. Chinese have a three days’ holiday according to law. In order to make the worker enjoy happier days and advance the economic growth, the government made a policy that people would enjoy seven days at the beginning of May. Then we call these days “Golden Week”. It sounds very nice, doesn’t it?

Now to my mind, this week is not “golden” but damned. It’s not my holiday.

Actually, there are nine days for me to have a rest. Because I didn’t need to have classes since last Saturday. I liked to be on holiday in former days for the busy classes. But this time I don’t feel any happiness.

Some say that in college every day is vacation time, provided that you run away from the class. Maybe this saying is right. This week is an official vacation because of no worrying about the class roll call. You have enough time to do whatever you want in this long vacation. However, I have little passion when the holiday comes. I’m confused.

In schooldays, I need to have a meal, go to class, take exercise and so on. Now I have nothing to do but sleep on bed. Even the canteen has been where I am not willing to go. It’s too boring.

As a matter of fact, I had some plans for this holiday. Such as going home, having a trip with someone or visiting high school classmates in Beijing. Even if having a nice day with someone in campus seemed perfect to me. Finally these all came to naught due to various reasons. The only thing that I can do is to stay at the dormitory. What a bad plan!

Considering some examinations this term, I’d better to review books at school. Espeically the midterm exam of Econometrics. It’s an ugly course where Maths, Statistics and English are mixed here. It’s so difficult that we don’t know what the teacher talking about constantly. Thus I must prepare for it well as soon as possible.

For some unknown reasons, last month my Internet traffic was beyond the limit of 10G a month. So my account was locked by ISP of our university. And nobody of ISP keeps watch on this vacation. Fortunately, I got an extra prepaid card from one of my friends. Now I could surf on the Intenet again.

Well, nothing to worry about, nothing to think of, just calm down to prepare myself for the coming exams. I don’t wanna fail.

Every day is a nice day. However, sometimes naive.

These words always vibrate in my mind.

Be Back

Sun, 15 Jan 2006 17:13:37 GMT

Hey,everybody! I'm back.

Long time no see.

After twelve hours' travel, I arrived in my hometown.Thanks to God! I saw Dad and Mum again.

Now the winter vacation has begun with some rain.There are 30 days or so for me to enjoy the fun, the weather and the holidays. It sounds good.

You can contact me through the cell phone or E-mail. I would like to share the joy with you. Just be alone here and look forward to feeling you.

Whether lonely or not is nothing important.

As you know, I miss you.

Wish this winter were not very cold.