Am I too tired?

I have no idea of that. I just know I can feel pain on the back, waist, shoulder and legs when I finish daily work every day. Sometimes, I think I'm nearly exhausted. I don't feel very well.

Every morning, I have to get up early before half past six and then get to the office before twenty to eight. The regular morning meeting is held at that time. I must sign in and attend the meeting on time. If late, 10 yuan will be deducted at a time. What's more, I'll give my superior a "bad" me. In a word, I can't be late.

Formal work time is from eight 0'clock to half past five in the afternoon. Because I just began to work a few days ago and don't have a specific position, so I may be told to do anything. Mental work or manual work -- anything is possible. This Friday afternoon, I was told to substitute for a lobby manager. Wearing leather shoes and standing for several hours is too painful for me. You must never know my feet were bleeding because of it.

I haven't get used to the current working style yet. I haven't get used to wearing suits and working for a whole day. I haven't get used to communicate with workmates and clients. There're so many things that I don't get used to. I guess that must be the reason of my being tired.

I'm working in a building with elevators and air-conditioning devices. And no one lets me carry heavy things. But I still feel tired. I still feel painful. I don't know how it comes on earth.

Maybe some days later, when I get used to my job, I'll never be too tired. And all pains on my body will be gone.

To me, a man who will start his career, confused days still go on.

To my surprise, I haven't been on duty formally. On the contrary, I'm participating another training program after the orientation training. It means I'm still being trained. I will go on standing everyday living without the Internet and urban liveliness. It's a little bit difficult.

It seems that these confused days will be over in around two weeks. Then I'll go back and begin to work as a real professional man. It will be also difficult to me when that day really comes. I'm sure of its trouble.

Now I just wish the confused days would elapse soon.

After waiting and staying home for nearly a month, now I'm about to be on board.

This afternoon, I had a meeting in the company which I will work in. In the meeting, we subscribed our names to the labour contract. And we were noticed that which subbranch we were allocated to. Thank goodness! I was allocated to a downtown subbranch, which is the largest one within all provincial subbranches. I was too lucky!

I won't need to worry whether I will be allocated to a suburban place. I'm very excited now. So are the family. That's because this allocated result is beyond my expectation. Several hours ago, I just wished I would work in any downtown place. It's a big surprise.

Tomorrow, I'll go to the subbranch which I was allocated to to check in with a letter of introduction. Then I will begin to be on duty.

So tomorrow may be my first formal working day. Hope everything will be fine.

Offer, where is my offer?

This is a question I want to know urgently these days. And I also want to know who can give me an offer. It's clearly that an offer is the most valuable thing I want now. I urge it.

These days, I have been working hard to look for someone or an employee that can give me an offer. I really tried. And believe me I will continue to try. I hope more companies could give me more opportunities. And I also work hard to grasp opportunities. But now, for the time being, the problem is it seems there are not many companies who are willing to help me. They even don't give me a chance.

Why? I have been thinking about it. And I also asked many people so as to find the answer. I need to know the reasons. I don't know what employees think in their mind. Every time when I want to get the answer, I always stare at my resume. I try to find something in it.

Is there something wrong or not very proper in my resume? Or do I make mistakes in the resume? Unfortunately, I found no direct mistakes. But how did those HR managers exclude me? It must contain some obvious factors.

"Yes," I said to myself. After many times' checking and thinking, I think I do find something.

Firstly, it's on account of my name. You mustn't believe that most Chinese people don't know my given name. Even many teachers who teach Chinese don't know my name. They don't know the pronunciation and meaning of the characters within my name. Then they don't know how to type it in the computer. So, even if the HR staff think I'm qualified and want to give me a chance, I still receive no interview or aptitude test notice. Because they can't speak it out on the phone or type it out in the computer.

Secondly, the relationship of my university and major gives people an optical illusion. They think my university shouldn't own a department like mine. They tell themselves according to what they see from the name of my university. Maybe they regard my university as a famous and excellent university. But they don't have the same opinion when treating my major. In their eyes, if my department really existed, it would be a little bit bad. Actually, the fact is that my department really exists in my university. And it's good. It's just young if judged by the year when it was founded and will certainly have a promising future. It makes me somewhat angry. I just want to tell them, if you judge something only by its name, you will find you are wrong at last. You don't know what my university is and who I am. But you are unknown about your wrong judgement.

Thirdly, HR staff can't search out many shining points in my resume. I didn't get any scholarship at university. I'm not the Party member. I didn't have a high level in Students' Union. I didn't publish papers. I didn't have an internship in a big company or organization. I didn't take part in many social activities. But this is what I am. I am what I am. I am one of a kind.

I still believe I'm not a man that contributes nothing on the earth. I can do and will something for the employee if employed. And I also have some strong points which others don't have. I'm "useful". I'm not a giant and most of us not. But I can be a talent of what I do.

Now I'm sitting in front of the computer. I'm trying to find some useful employment information. Browsing the webpages about other people's interview experience, I couldn't help thinking about my offer again. I wish I could see my offer soon. It'd better be tomorrow.　

I'm listening to a song of Sarah Brightman, So Many Things. And I know there are so many things waiting for me.

Unexpectedly, in the last semester of university, I have so many things to do. I didn't anticipate its difficulty. I'm not ready for it. I am still worried when I face these things. I don't know any exact plan. I have ideals, but I don't know how to realize any of them. I'm too sad right now.

I'm still hunting for a job. A so-so job which brings me not too many salaries or high social position is hard to get. I don't want much. I just need a job at present. I want to find a job and get ready to do it well. But it seems I'm not good enough. No company or organization has an interest in me. They even didn't give me a chance to take the interview. It sounds very ugly.

I think I'm excellent, at least competent for a position. But few HR managers agree. That's the point. I'm struggling. I have to be.

And I'm busy with my graduation work. I must finish my graduation essay and internship report soon. But I can't do it now. I can't concentrate on these paper works when I think about the job. I can't make my heart quiet. So many things have been upsetting my mind.

Out of question, I'm tired. Furthermore, I'm a little bit frustrated. Some told me to be self-confident. I know it's important. I will always try to make it. But what I need most is a job which could smooth my painful heart. I'm looking for some good suggestions. I'm looking for someone who can encourage me.

I don't want to be weak.

P.S. So many things have made me not have much time to write entries to post what I think and what I need.

Did you make a resume? Or are you preparing for a resume?

All undergraduate students who are about to hunt for jobs need a resume. And certainly, as a graduate-to-be, I am hunting for a job; so I'm making a resume.

What is a resume? Briefly, a resume is a piece of paper which can be said to be a page of short self-introduction. It is used to tell the employer who you are, what you have and what you wish to be. It's the first impression the employer gets. And transparently, it's basic and important.

Generally speaking, for Chinese students, we need to prepare for two different resumes. One is the Chinese edition, the other is the English edition. Now I'm talking about the English edition of resumes.

Making a resume is not easy. And making a good English resume is very difficult. You must consider many things. Such as cultural differences, format and usages of words and expressions. You must make the contents of your resume look nice, at least fluent in the language use.

I'm trying to be myself within the resume. I'm trying to use English fluently on the paper. I'm trying to tell the employer all I own and all the employer wants. I'm trying to let HR managers believe that I'm the right person they need. I'm trying to make the boss know I'm good to his company. But I'm just trying. It's hard.

Someone said that a good English resume needs many times of revision. I have been amending the resume for many times. And I'm asking my professors for some help. Meanwhile, I show my resume to some of my classmates. I want them to give me some advice and tell me where exactly on the paper needs some revision. I want to make my resume perfect. I'm perfecting it.

All I'm doing and about to do are completely for the offer. But where is the offer?